Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
