It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Randomize
