Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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