we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
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He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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