My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
That accounts for only three of the penises
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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