He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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