I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
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