That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Randomize
