im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I have aggressive nipples.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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