You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
