Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
