Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
