do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
