you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
