I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
