i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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