and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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