the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
