So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
