so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
