dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Randomize
