i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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