I think I am morally bankrupt
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
