i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
