I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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