Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
