The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I'm at about main and main street
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
