I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
