Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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