i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize
