I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
