It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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