For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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