Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
as a side note pls kill me
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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