well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
