I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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