We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize