i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
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My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
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I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?