Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms

  (1-248): View more from Michigan

  Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way

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  (248): Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms (1-248): Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way http://tfl.nu/a42d
  Replies (7) Good night (952) Bad night (450) Order T-Shirt
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  (631): View more from New York

  OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET

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  (631): OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET http://tfl.nu/az0w
  Replies (76) Good night (8147) Bad night (1099) Order T-Shirt
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  Let's make jello shots for tomorrow

  (1-913): View more from Kansas

  What's going on tomorrow?

  (913): View more from Kansas

  Nothing, it's Wednesday

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  (913): Let's make jello shots for tomorrow (1-913): What's going on tomorrow? (913): Nothing, it's Wednesday http://tfl.nu/pnp1
  Replies (29) Good night (10641) Bad night (863)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house

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  (314): What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house http://tfl.nu/pjzi
  Replies (4) Good night (3821) Bad night (706) Order T-Shirt
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  (207): View more from Maine

  Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.

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  (207): Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you. http://tfl.nu/tfuz
  Replies (5) Good night (5140) Bad night (776) Order T-Shirt
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING

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  (404): just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING http://tfl.nu/vg2h
  Replies (18) Good night (5797) Bad night (991) Order T-Shirt
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?

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  (601): Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her? http://tfl.nu/n019
  Replies (15) Good night (7586) Bad night (1106) Order T-Shirt
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  (315): View more from New York

  And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.

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  (315): And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter. http://tfl.nu/66e0
  Replies (7) Good night (3363) Bad night (777) Order T-Shirt
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  (281): View more from Texas

  Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.

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  (281): Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers. http://tfl.nu/dra4
  Replies (7) Good night (3591) Bad night (643) Order T-Shirt
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.

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  (309): Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash. http://tfl.nu/otoe
  Replies (2) Good night (431) Bad night (1246) Order T-Shirt
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.

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  (717): This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy. http://tfl.nu/qoag
  Replies (5) Good night (936) Bad night (362) Order T-Shirt
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much

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  (309): Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much http://tfl.nu/b8oh
  Replies (1) Good night (196) Bad night (558) Order T-Shirt
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.

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  (724): I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober. http://tfl.nu/htfr
  Replies (1) Good night (579) Bad night (212) Order T-Shirt
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  (214): View more from Texas

  MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.

  (214): View more from Texas

  SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.

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  (214): MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME. (214): SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME. http://tfl.nu/sfja
  Replies (12) Good night (985) Bad night (259)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...

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  (319): This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left... http://tfl.nu/s9na
  Replies (1) Good night (389) Bad night (250) Order T-Shirt

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