He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
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sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
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i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...