i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?