I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.