It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
