five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
