I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
