Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Randomize
