when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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