dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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