Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
