How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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