Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
