God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
