So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
