He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
