I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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