My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize