We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
