I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
