So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
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