from now on my penis is your penis
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
