We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
