So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
