Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
