dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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