apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
He shit in the fireplace
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