I hate all girls vehemently.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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