the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
