She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
