i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Randomize
