i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
