Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
