Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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