I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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