like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
