we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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