Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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