If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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