how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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