Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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