I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
someone get that fucking seahorse.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
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speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
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