i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
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